My husband's sugar is always above 350 and he refuses to take diabetes seriously

The wound would worry me more than anything you've written. My father ignored a wound on his foot because it was 'small'. It got infected and turned into a much bigger problem because he kept waiting.

Please don't try to manage that at home for weeks. He needs someone to actually look at it.

350-400 isn't a slightly high reading. If those numbers are accurate and happening regularly, I would be calling his doctor rather than waiting for the next routine appointment.

And if he's extremely unwell, vomiting, confused, very dehydrated, having trouble breathing or anything like that, that's not a 'let's see tomorrow' situation.

I was the stubborn person in my family.

Not quite as high as your husband, but I spent years taking tablets for a few weeks, stopping them, eating whatever I wanted, then acting surprised when my numbers were terrible again.

What changed me wasn't my wife shouting at me. It was my doctor showing me that my kidney tests were starting to change. Suddenly diabetes wasn't some future problem anymore.

My only regret is that I waited for something to go wrong before I took it seriously.

You also need to stop making yourself responsible for every thing he eats.

You can cook healthier food. You can ask him to see the doctor. You can support him if he decides to make changes. But you cannot spend your entire life policing whether another adult puts sugar in his tea.

I did this with my mother for years and it completely exhausted me.

Has anyone talked to him about diabetes burnout rather than just telling him he needs more discipline?

I'm not excusing what he's doing. But sometimes someone knows perfectly well that diabetes is dangerous and still completely checks out because they're overwhelmed, depressed, angry about having it, or just tired of thinking about it every day.

If that's where his head is, another lecture about rice probably isn't going to fix it.

My uncle lost part of his foot after years of badly controlled Type 2. Before that he had problems with his eyes and kidneys. I don't say that to scare you, but because our family also spent years thinking complications were something that happened much later in life.

High glucose can affect the eyes, kidneys, nerves, heart and blood vessels over time. It isn't only about how he feels today.

One small point about the food: please don't get stuck thinking there is a special list of foods he is 'supposed' to eat. Diabetes management is bigger than beans vs rice or sweets vs no sweets.

If his readings really are repeatedly in the 300s and 400s while he's skipping prescribed medication, the bigger issue is that his overall treatment clearly needs attention.

My husband was similar after diagnosis. The more I pushed, the more defensive he became. Eventually I told him I would go with him to appointments, walk with him, change what we cooked at home, whatever he wanted, but I wasn't going to fight with him every night about his diabetes.

Things improved when he finally decided he wanted help. Not perfect, but much better.

Please look after yourself too. Being the partner of someone who refuses care can consume your whole life.